Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
