Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
