if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize