Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
