I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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