In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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