So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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