Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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