U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
