I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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