you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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