Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize