So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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