Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
