id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
