who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
