cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize