First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What a dumb baby whore.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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