How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
