just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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