Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
