She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
