Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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