Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
