so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
