i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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