dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
