in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's just like the Real World with babies
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
