from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
