No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
