i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
