you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
