listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
