I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
