Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He passed out mid-signature
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
