Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
