yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
