Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
