Plan B is the new Plan A
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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