I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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