I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
