You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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