I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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