he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
