I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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