So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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