im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We have so much sex to catch up on
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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