I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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