Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
3pm strippers are depressing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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