Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
