so let's talk penis.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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