Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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