16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
