when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
