Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
