So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
