When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
