eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
