will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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